Refuge

I honestly can’t count how many times a friend of mine has attempted to convince me the usefulness of having your own blog , but now i think i’m convinced that it’s going to help me keep track of days and what i do . i’ve never had a diary , don’t have a camera of my own , if my friends and family wouldnt send me pictures of the times we’ve spent together and the things we’ve done that we wish to remember , i’d probably have no tangable memories at all. I guess this is as good a start as any.

 the main reason i started my own blog is because i honestly have no real release to express myself  . i’ve always been private and to myself about my thoughts and ideas except with my closest of freinds, but even some i hold back on. this is mostly because as open minded as a person may say they are , people who are close to you always have high expectations of you , and if they see something outside the norms of what they are used to , they come running trying to better you , but rarely try to understand you .

 Conformity… invisible shackles that bind us together creating an illusion of brotherhood , in a daunting quest to seek validation. everyone wants to be accepted , but being of good will and benevolent intention is no longer enough. people aren’t classed by there good will , but their financial wealth , or even by the name they carry . if classes exist then boundries exist , and i’m not saying that all people should all turn communist (LoL)

i’m saying , how often to you see a multi millionaire have a carpenter for a friend? why should that matter? people choose to stick to clans , society looks down upon those who they can’t drain or make use of. everyone wants to aspire to do great things , regardless of where their drive is taking them , but when someone reaches that level where you are “looked up to” we want to beleive that this “hero” shall we say is greatly respected , but today heroes are plain envied , everyone wants to see them fall. and when u are and average everyday person , they could care less. so we push harder to become those people that everyone will love be it by material possessions or showing some sort of dynamic presence , what i dont understand is why people deny themselves freedom of thought , by trying to be “that kind of person”…why can’t they just simply “be”?

I’m Blessed by God to have a good family that has raised me , and its safe to say (alhumdullila) we’re well off.. but i’d be just as happy growing up as a humble fisherman for example. because of who i am , the part of the world that i come from , and the environment i am growing up in , no one around me would aprove of certian interests , everyone is intranced in the glamore and prestige of holding job titles such as , lawyer , docter , business man etc.  but look down upon say , a member of a certian family being an entertainer (singer , actor) not that those are my personal interests. it doesnt give me any room to really , truly be myself in the full sense of the word. formalities cover most of my life , protocol is always followed , and because of “who i am” i can’t do as i please . i think Americans have a saying thats reffered to when speaking of marriage but for me it’s life in general …the “Golden Cage” they call it . everything looks nice…but it’s still a cage , guess this will serve as a place for me to say whats on my mind without worry . oh well..we’ll see.

i’ve rambled on enough for one blog entry i think. felt good though

 anyway ,